


Tempus Fugit

by thedeadparrot



Category: NCIS
Genre: Multi, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-20
Updated: 2010-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:45:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeadparrot/pseuds/thedeadparrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like a lot of things that happen to the three of them, it starts because Tony is bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tempus Fugit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Porn Battle X and the prompt 'NCIS, Anthony DiNozzo/Timothy McGee/Ziva David, bored'

Like a lot of things that happen to the three of them, it starts because Tony is bored. The difference this time is that it starts on Ziva's couch after a delicious home-cooked meal instead of in the bullpen right before Gibbs arrives to give them paperwork or a new case. Tony doesn't get food coma the way other people do, so while McGee and Ziva seem content to pat their stomachs and talk about how full they are, Tony is a lot more interested in _other things_. Like what is up with McGee's latest manicure. That man's nails are freakish.

And then somehow one thing leads to another, and that's how he ends up with Ziva with her tongue down his throat and one of her hands grabbing McGee's shirt, dragging the two of them towards the bedroom. Tony kind of wishes he had memorized what he did, exactly, to trigger this, because he'd like to repeat it as often as he possibly can. Maybe even while they're having a slow day at work.

Before he can consider whether or not he made the remark about Ziva's tongue _after_ he made those comments about McGee's ex-girlfriends, Ziva does one of her ninja Mossad tricks and throws Tony onto the bed. "You are like a small child, Tony," she says, straddling his lap.

Behind her, McGee snorts. "You really are, Tony," he says. His hands are resting on Ziva's shoulders, and his fingers are doing things to her neck that are probably illegal in several states, and of course, Tony can't stop staring. Ziva tilts her head back so that McGee can kiss her, slow and wet and drawn out. Tony's dick, even though it hasn't really become involved yet, really, _really_ likes the show. McGee's hands move from their place at Ziva's neck to the hem of Ziva's shirt, sliding the fabric up and and up and up, revealing smooth skin that Tony really wants to touch. Or maybe lick. Or maybe both. Then McGee has Ziva's shirt over her head, and how it got there is something of a mystery because they're still kissing, slow and easy, without any of the sexual frenzy that Tony is feeling right now.

"Will you guys hurry it up here?" Tony says in a tone of voice that is definitely not a whine. McGee unhooks Ziva's bra and slides it down her arms with a certainty that really belies all of Tony's comments about his sexual history. Though it could just be an MIT good-with-fiddly-bits thing.

Finally, _finally_, they stop kissing and start paying more attention to Tony. Ziva says, "Is it really so difficult to keep you entertained, Tony?" She reaches down to undo the buttons of Tony's shirt, popping out one after the other, her breasts hanging free in a way that is really distracting until Tony remembers that hey! he has hands! He slides a thumb over her right nipple, pleased by her sharp intake of breath. Her hands still on the last button of his shirt.

"We could have just left him in front of the TV during a Dora the Explorer marathon," McGee suggests, and that's when Tony realizes that his feet are kind of cold, because McGee has removed his shoes and socks.

"You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that," Tony hisses, momentarily distracted because McGee's no-longer-clothed arms are wrapped around Ziva's waist, and his hands are on the fly of Ziva's pants, sliding the zipper down, revealing Ziva's very pink panties.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ziva says, arching an eyebrow, and Tony really just needs someone to _touch him_ right now, because he's had sick sexual fantasies about that eyebrow since he first met her. His dick is beginning to get really uncomfortable in his pants. She gets his shirt open with a vicious yank. Then she smirks, and Tony doesn't have time to contemplate her breasts any more, because she's _licking a path across his chest_, leaving a wet smear behind.

Tony's hands go to Ziva's hips, bumping McGee's arms which are already there, and fuck, even with Ziva's teeth on his nipples, Tony wants moremoremore nownownow. McGee seems to get that, though, because he leans over Ziva's shoulder and kisses Tony on the lips. His mouth still tastes like that Japanese beer he likes and the apple pie Ziva made for dinner, and his tongue moves confident and assured against Tony's own. When McGee pulls back, he's wearing the same grin he wears when he thinks he's gotten one up on Tony, even though half the time that happens, Tony's just being nice to make the probie feel better. Really. That's all.

Ziva is squirming out of her jeans and underwear, somehow managing to stay between the two of them as she does so, which demonstrates the kind of flexibility that Tony can respect. And then her hands are on his belt, on his fly, pushing his pants and boxers down his legs, freeing Tony's erection. "About time," Tony grumbles.

Halfway down, McGee takes over, his larger hands reaching between Ziva's legs to pull Tony's pants the rest of the way down. McGee says, "Patience, Tony." But that's totally not fair, because _he_ had time to get naked while Tony had been distracted by Ziva's girl parts.

"I was not aware that Tony knew the meaning of the word," Ziva says. She reaches over Tony's head to grab some stuff from the bedside table and then hands it to McGee over her shoulder.

"Hey!" Tony says, but Ziva's not paying any attention to him. She's closing her eyes, making soft, contented noises, and Tony really wishes he could see what McGee must be doing back there, because he's pretty sure it could give him jerk off material for _months_. Then he feels the brush of the back of McGee's hand against his balls, and he realizes exactly where McGee's fingers are at the moment. "Jesus, McGee," Tony says. "What's she like?"

McGee's still wearing that grin, the one that is now beginning to take on more and more disturbing sexual implications the longer this goes on. "Wet," he says. "Hot. Tight." He does something that makes Ziva let out a small groan, and if Tony thought he was hard earlier, it was just because he hadn't considered the idea of McGee fingering Ziva _right in front of him_.

"I hope you both realize that I can hear you," Ziva says, but her voice is tight and a little reedy.

Tony realizes once again that this is not a hands-off display, so he leans forward to nibble at Ziva's collarbone, to run his hands through her hair. "Oh, we haven't forgotten that," Tony says, making his voice as smug as possible. "And besides, you know you like it."

Ziva makes an unladylike snort. "I can think of much better things you can do with your mouth, Tony," she says. She looks over her shoulder at McGee, and they have one of those wordless conversations that the three of them have mastered over the years. After the two of them come to an agreement of sorts, she shimmies her way up Tony's body, giving him a very nice view of her breasts. Tony tries to take one of her nipples into his mouth, but apparently she has other plans, because she smacks him on the top of his head and continues her journey north.

Then she sits on Tony's face, and Tony, who has not been feeling left out, precisely, is still incredibly eager to lift his head so he can get a taste of her, sliding his tongue into her body. Tony has always really loved women, the taste and the smell of them, the way they drip, sticky and wet over his face and fingers, and Ziva is no exception. She makes a soft groaning noise when he brushes a finger over her clit, and he thinks _yes, this round is mine!_ before he feels one of McGee's slick, Ziva-covered fingers pressing into his asshole. Tony's dick twitches, because it is very happy with this whole situation, and Tony groans into Ziva's skin, because it is becoming very obvious that McGee has done this before. McGee might have even done this before _on other guys_.

Ziva laughs from above Tony, reminding him of his priorities. "I think you will agree with me when I say that Tim has some very talented fingers, yes? I bet it is all those computer games he plays." And Tony thinks _I'll show you talented,_ because there is no way he's going to let Ziva walk away from this situation thinking that Probie's better than him in bed. He slides his fingers inside her while he sucks on the inside of her left thigh, careful to avoid her clit, trying to make her truly appreciate the whole DiNozzo experience, even as McGee is finding nerve endings in Tony's ass that he's never even realized he has. He has to pause for a moment when one of McGee's fingers brushes his prostate, despite Ziva's grunt of protest, because he needs to focus on _not coming_. Then Ziva's nails are digging into Tony's scalp, and he gets back to work.

He can feel that Ziva is getting close, her hips restless above Tony's head. So when Tony gives a clit a careful nip, she comes hard, a sharp cry rising from her throat, her whole body shuddering with the force of it. Tony would usually take a moment to gloat, but McGee has decided to replace his fingers with his cock, already lubed and condomed up, and all Tony can do is moan at the feel of him sliding in.

Ziva sits back on Tony's chest, looking very pleased with herself, her thighs still wet where they brush his skin. She glances over her shoulder at McGee, who has now managed to establish a slow, easy rhythm, and she smirks. "You look quite good getting fucked, Tony," she says.

"I always look good," Tony says, indignant, except that last syllable comes out a little higher pitched than he expected, because right at that moment, McGee does something incredibly indecent with hips.

"Of course you'd think that," McGee says. He presses a kiss against the back of Ziva's neck, right along her spine, and all Tony can see is McGee's hair which is totally unfair considering how Ziva's smirk gets a little wider.

"You know," Tony manages to pant out, "I bet your mom could fuck me harder than you are right now, McGee."

"Yeah, well," McGee says, "maybe the next time you want to get fucked you should talk to her first." His hands squeeze down tigher on Tony's hips, not hard enough to leave bruises. Tony wonders what he'd have to say in order to get McGee to press down even harder, to leave discolored patches of skin that will still be present tomorrow, that will match the teeth marks Ziva has made on Tony's ribs.

Ziva presses a hand between her legs, sliding her own fingers inside herself, and seriously, Tony has seen hours of porn that is less hot than that. Tony has had entire sexual encounters less hot than that. McGee seems to think so, too, because he speeds up, changing the angle of his thrusts so that the head of his cock brushes Tony's prostate every time. Tony lets out a low groan, and part of him doesn't even mind that they've gotten this far and no one's even touched his dick once. Part of him doesn't mind so much that if, in theory, McGee and Ziva ever needed a volunteer to be their own personal sex slave, Tony would be the first person to sign up.

"C'mon, McGee, harder," Tony says, and Ziva's hand speeds up as McGee's thrusts do. Tony reaches out so that his fingers can join Ziva's, and yeah, he'll never get sick of the way she tosses her head back as he brushes a nail over her clit, the way she's so wet and slick and responsive to his touch.

She comes again, and the feel of her tightening around his fingers is enough to make Tony come hard enough that his vision goes white around the edges. McGee's hands tighten painfully on Tony's hips, and then he's coming too.

"Okay, yeah," Tony says. as the endorphins start to wear off a few minutes later, all cleaned up and ready for bed. "I'm not bored anymore." He feels all pleasantly blissed out, curled between McGee and Ziva, and Tony had always known that Ziva would be a monster in the sack, but who the hell could have predicted any of that from McGee? "Good work, everyone. Gold stars all around."

For his sincere appreciation, all he gets are twin smacks to the back of his head.

But Tony's kind of okay with that.

Especially if they get to do it again in the morning.


End file.
